Motherhood is...

simply amazing!

I wasn't sure what I would write at first for this post - there is just so much in my heart and mind and I don't think I could do any of those thoughts justice at this time. But the main thought that keeps coming up is this: how could anyone doubt that there is a God when we have such wonderful blessings in children? I have a son, a baby boy all my own, and no theory, evolution included, could ever explain this to me. I know this train of thought is a little foggy, but it makes sense to me. People are always looking for miracles in life: angels, talking bushes, food that can feed hundreds, cures for "incurable" ailments. But what about daily miracles - the sun shining, birds singing, feelings of well-being, friendship? I've always tried to appreciate these daily miracles that so many take for granted, and now as a mother, I have so many, many more to look forward to.

I've never thought of myself as an overly emotional person; I try to be rational and practical, and this has worked out well for me. However, in this past week emotions are taking over. Seth melts my heart each time he nuzzles up to me and smiles. He is the best thing I've ever done and he gives me a purpose. Motherhood consists of so many things that I will be learning over the course of my life. Not only am I responsible for his daily living needs, but I will be his teacher, mentor, counselor, and friend. I can only hope that I am up for the challenge.

In summary for the past week, things are good. As Michael's post stated, my labor and delivery went very well compared to many women and I am so thankful for it. My recovery has been equally as good. The only downside of this week is that Seth's bilirubin scores have been high, putting him at risk for jaundice. Because of this, we have to take him to the hospital every day to get blood tests. His score is slowly decreasing and we're hoping he will get through this soon. It breaks my heart every time they have to stick him and he screams. He handles it very well and is only upset while the blood is being taken, but I can't wait for it to be over.

Seth is a great little baby, and I can't wait for everyone to meet him. He has now met a small part of our family and has made a good impression, I think. He's not a fussy baby and he doesn't mind being passed around to new people. And, of course, he is adorable! Who wouldn't love him?!

On a side note, Michael is amazing! I had some small doubts as to how he would react during labor. I thought he would become nervous or agitated or even that he would try to crack inappropriate jokes, but he surpassed all of my expectations. He was literally with me every step of the way - not once did he leave my side or become frustrated with me. He supported me through the entire experience and did everything he could for me. I really can't think of anything he could have done better. I am so glad that Seth has such a wonderful male role model as a daddy.

Seth's 0th birthday bash!

(Please note that all spelling and grammatical errors were intentionally included as evidence of our exhaustion)

Friday, Sept. 19th, 12:30pm -
Kristin and I are at a baby shower being held in our honor by my coworkers. There is abundant pizza, gifts, and nerdy jokes (I provided most of these).
Several people ask when our child is due, and I answer Oct. 11th, although technically we are full term so it could be any time soon. "Hopefully not
today though!" (laughter).

Friday, Sept. 19th, 6:15pm -
Having completed my day at work I come home to Kristin who is busily cooking dinner and doing general housework. While picking up some clutter she gasps and runs to the restroom. A few minutes later I hear her timidly call me. "Honey," she says, "either I just had a really embarrasing accident or my water broke!"


Friday, Sept. 19th, 9:00pm -
At UT Hospital the doctor has determined that Kristin's water has broken. We are moved to a delivery room where we are told to expect about 12-14 hours of steadily increasing contractions as Kristin dialates and Seth is prepared to be born.

Friday, Sept. 19th, 11:30pm -
Kristin's contractions have rapidly set in and she is in a lot of pain. She is becoming very discouraged because she does not want another 12 or so hours of this. She finally breaks down enough to call for an epidural.

Saturday, Sept. 20th, 2:00am -
The anesthesioligist has finally gotten a break from several emergency calls and is able to administer Kristin's epidural. She is in extreme pain and has been rocking on the bed desperate for some relief. Unfortunately the epidural proves to be a difficult one and is finally completed after about 30 minutes and 5-6 tries. However it proves to be worth the trouble as after 15 or so minutes Kristin is feeling better and the nurse is able to check how far along she is. The nurse is shocked to find that she is already at 10cm and ready to give birth.

Saturday, Sept. 20th, 3:00am -
Kristin has begun pushing and Seth has made fast progress, and is already crowning. The whole birthing crew is called in and the real show begins, lights descend from the ceiling, Kristin's bed transforms from beneath her into some kind of genius labor platform, and the doctor is in the catching position. Seth's head is slowly pushing through, and the doctor decides we need an episiotimy. After the cut, Seth bursts free in one giant wave of water! It is 3:21 am, and he is born crying in a raspy voice. Kristin exclaims that he sounds like Donald Duck, which elicits a laugh from our attending nurses and doctor. They weigh Seth at 8lbs, 5oz, and measuring 20.5 inches.

Sunday, Sept. 21st, 8:25pm -
Seth is aproaching 2 days old, and Kristin and I combined have gotten maybe five hours of sleep. Our kid is sleepy, and it can be difficult getting him to eat. Because of this we are a little nervous about heading home tomorrow morning, but we know that God will help us get through this difficult period. Personally I expect that within a day or two he will get past this 'sleepy phase' and begin eating and pooping too fast for us to keep up. We're extremely happy, we're extremely tired, and are looking forward to going home to begin life as a new family.

Sprinters Have Nothing on Pregnant Women Headed for the Bathroom!

First thing's first: Seth is doing well. We had our 36 week appointment yesterday where the doctor and ultrasound tech said he is right on target in size. The tech said he is still in the head-down position and his heartrate is strong. She also said that he looks like he only has a little bit of hair, which is the opposite of what she said a few weeks ago, where she pointed out "all that hair." Either way, I'm not going to assume that an ultrasound can detect hair all that well and we'll just expect the amount as a surprise. We did get to witness Seth practice his breathing for a few seconds, which shows up basically as his ribs moving up and down. It's such a weird and amazing concept that there is a human in there getting ready for life in the outside world.

Outside of the visit, but still on the topic of Seth, things are good. He is still keeping pretty calm, although it does seem like he's trying to do some remodeling to his temporary home by pushing as far out as he can. I've tried to reassure him that it's not necessary, but he doesn't listen to reason yet - so I do what I can and gently push back. He eventually takes the hint, gives up, and I assume, goes back to sleep.

I always enjoy the days of my doctor visits, not because of the inevitable hour-long wait to see the doctor with a lack of any decent magazines, but because it gives me the reassurance that my boy is doing well. However, yesterday was a great day for another reason. Michael opted to take an extra week of support calls at work (which makes for very interrupted evenings, nights, and weekends) so that he can take a day off of work and - get this - spend it doing things I want to do!

It began with him going to my appointment with me and keeping me company. After the hour and a half wait/visit, we went to Olive Garden for lunch. Now I know this doesn't seem all that special - we used to go out to eat weekly - but to a woman who has been living on Raisin Bran for the last several weeks, it is a HUGE deal! I knew I would regret it before I even ordered, but I knew it would be worth it, so I went all out. I got pop (with a refill!), a big salad, several breadsticks, and cheese ravioli! Yeah, I was in pain for most of the day and night, but I wouldn't do it any differently. Yum!

So after that, we went to Target to get Michael's dad's birthday present. I know that sounds dull and not worth mentioning, but I've been harrassing Michael about suggestions for his dad for well over a month and it has been eating away at me that we hadn't decided on anything yet. Now that's one thing off my mind.

Finally, we went to Zuma Fun Center. Being as it was a Tuesday, it was nearly empty and we didn't have to wait for anything. We played two rounds of miniature golf (we each won one, although he totally kicked my butt) and several arcade games. It was a lot of fun, except for two things: pregnancy really does make you tire out more quickly, especially when it's warm and when you're near the end of things you really ought to choose your clothing wisely. I had chosen a pair of maternity shorts that have never actually fit well and like to fall off with every couple of steps. Now I know that in some fashions, the whole pants-drooping-off-your-behind is cool, but it makes playing miniature golf (and really anything else) annoying. So I eventually threw in the towel and asked to go home.

The rest of the evening was quiet: I relaxed with my feet propped up and we watched the classic and very cheesy horror movie "Witchboard." We then read a bit, spent quite a bit of time talking about how much our lives are going to change in just a few more weeks, and then went to sleep early.

Although the day wasn't spent at fancy places and we didn't try new and daring things, it was a day that was memorable. I know Michael had to pull some strings to get this day with me and I know he would have done some things differently if it had been up to him. The point of it all is that he actually planned ahead (not a typical Michael thing) and made a day that would be fun for me. Pretty soon our roles are going to be changing and we're not going to be just a husband and wife, but a father and mother. It's reassuring to know that he is still thinking of me, not just as this "mother" figure, but still as the girl he fell for over three years ago: his friend and a girl he still wants to impress. He'll be a great daddy, but I don't see it changing what a great husband he is.

Hush Little Baby...

Today marks my 35th week of pregnancy and it is really starting to hit home. Technically I will be considered full-term in just two more weeks...TWO WEEKS! Now, of course, four or five weeks will be best, and that's what we're hoping for; however, my selfish side is quite ready to have my body back. It will be nice to sleep through the night again (or at least not to be waking up to make trips to the bathroom) and to be able to sleep in whatever position I want. Before becoming pregnant, I was mostly a side-sleeper, but that has become very uncomfortable in the past month or so and now I have no choice but to sleep on my back. Yes, I'm aware that this is the opposite of what most women go through, but I seem to like to deviate from the norm.

Seth has become more lethargic in the past week or so. He still stretches and kicks every now and then, but mostly he seems to be bunkering down for the big adventure to come. Maybe he knows he needs to save his energy. According to the books, he should be close to 19 inches now and a little over five pounds. I'd love to be able to take a peek inside there and see what it's like for him. He's partial to my right side and he seems to like to stretch his little legs up towards my ribs. Thankfully for me, he hasn't started putting his feet in between them yet.

Other than that, I don't have much to report. It's been a very busy week and I know the next few weeks will be busy as well. Really it's a blessing, because as D-Day approaches, I know I will get increasingly nervous. Michael's answer to this is always, "You'll be fine." I know this, but it's not exactly the reassurance I need, so busywork is good for me.

A glimpse into my mind (it's dark in here).

When Kristin created this blog, I secretly made a commitment to myself that I would use it. In my own head I'm a pretty interesting person, but when it comes to writing down these thoughts my unique and creative musings tend to lose the awesome voice they have in my mind, at least until I build some momentum. Once I actually get started I can churn out several pages of work in one sitting, an ability which greatly facilitated the procrastination of many school writing assignments until the very eve of their due dates. Nevertheless, I always made great grades on those assignments, it's merely that act of starting that holds me back. I just gotta have the inertia.

The Tennessee State Fair begins next week, and as I was looking over their event schedule I discovered that they have demolition derbies. These events have always held a special place in my heart, and I plan on sneaking out and attending one. This is pretty high on my 'awesome things to do' list, closely following 'being in a demolition derby'. The latter goal will take some time and planning, and that is why I started a secret savings account for my future mid-life crisis (shh, don't tell Kristin). I'm pretty sure I will be able to talk her into it, I plan to make her choose between that or letting me get a motorcycle so dangerous that no insurance companies will cover me. I imagine some kind of jet-bike, possibly hovering, powered by an unstable nuclear reactor. It will literally leave a trail of fire when I gun it.

Seth will arrive soon, and I am very excited. I don't know if it makes sense, but I already love the kid. All I know of him are a couple of strong kicks from within my wife's abdomen, but I really can't wait to have him here in the outside world with me. I'm eager to see what sort of physical features he inherits from us, and I'm eager to see him grow into his own person, and I'm eager to teach him all sorts of things; about God, wisdom, life, people, music, science... Yeah, I'm already becoming one of those guys that thinks he's going to give his son all the things he wanted but never had, or the opportunities he never had (not that I was lacking on those, I was very blessed and well cared for in my youth). Basically, I'm overjoyed about the whole thing, and I want to be great at it.

Well, I'll stop here. I'm sure my blog posts will be much more abstract than my wife's, but I also hope that they will be enjoyable. I'll leave you with my 'list of awesome things to do'.

Awesome Things To Do:

1. Be a father! (see, I'm starting at the top)
2. Play a guitar solo so awesome that it actually causes someone's face to melt.
3. Wrestle a bear to the death, and win.
4. Purchase a hovering jet-bike.
5. Learn kung-fu.
6. Rescue children from a burning orphanage.
7. Execute a barrel roll in a car that cleverly removes a bomb attached to the underside by bringing it into contact with a giant crane hook conveniently hanging nearby (go see 'The Transporter 2' for more details).
8. Compete in a demolition derby.
9. Attend a demolition derby.
10. Crush a car with a monster truck (blasting Lynyd Skynyd on the stereo optional).
    

Baby Shower Madness!

My mom, aunt, and grandma pulled together and threw me an awesome shower a few weeks ago. Obviously with me being the star (ok, maybe Little Seth was), I was unable to take pictures and had to wait for them. I just got them in the mail today, so I figured I'd do a combination baby shower/33 week update post.

The party was fun, although I was a little nervous at first. My aunt and mom kept adding more and more games and ideas to it, and I was a little scared it may turn into a circus or something nearly as big. However, they ended up trimming it down a bit and it ended up being what I wanted: a get-together with family where we played games and had the opportunity to chat and catch up. My grandma (who should do this professionally) made two great cakes, a diaper cake, and a bunch of cute favors, while my aunt and mom were in charge of decorations, food, games, and prizes. If all the effort that went into this occasion and all the many, MANY gifts I got are any sign of how loved Seth is going to be then let me tell you - he may as well be nominated king now! Even though it was a relatively small gathering, I got way more than any one woman should have! Suffice it to say, I felt (and always feel) very loved and know that Seth will be loved just as much.

Moving on: today was my 33 week check up, which is normally pretty dull. However, this was where I was to find out if Seth is growing a wee bit too fast for his own good (or more importantly - my own good). As it turns out, he is smack dab in the middle of the road at the 50th percentile for weight. As of today, he weighs four lbs. 15 oz. The doctor said the previous doctor must have mis-measured, which is sort of what I was thinking. My personal/skeptical opinion is that this office will run every test/ultrasound/etc. on you to line their pockets a bit more - but that is a long rant, which I will avoid.

On a side note, Michael came to the visit with me in the hopes of seeing Seth in a more active state, like I saw in the 14th week. Well, proving just how stubborn he is, he wouldn't move at all, except when the tech poked at his back - then he moved just enough to get away. Once I was out of the office, though, Seth was back to kicking Mama again.

Apparently the further along you get in pregnancy the less clear the picture is, so the tech had to explain just about everything we were seeing. Normally she gives us three pictures, but this time she gave us one, which is essentially a dark blob, that verifies that Seth is, in fact, a boy. We also have to trust her when she said that Seth does have hair and is still a thumbsucker. He is also in the head-down position, which we had already kind of figured.

So the two things to take away from this post are: 1. I have some really great people in my life, and 2. Seth (hopefully) will not be a huge baby! Yay!

And so it begins...

Louis Armstrong got it right, "What a wonderful world!"

As most of you know, Michael and I are expecting our little miracle (also known as Seth) in just under eight weeks. All the shopping is done, the nursery is nearly complete, and we only have one more pre-parenting class to go. So now it's just time to sit and wait. Unfortunately, patience is not one of my strong points.

I had planned on starting a blog once Seth was born, however it occurred to me that the last few weeks before his birth may make for an interesting prologue. We are blessed to have some family near us, but we have many loved ones who are not as close. Because of this, they may not always be as up-to-date as we would like, but hopefully this blog will help to keep them updated.

At this point, I don't have much to write about. Seth has become quite the athlete over the last few weeks. He kicks, jabs, and pushes like it's his business, but I wouldn't have him stop for anything. Michael and I enjoy feeling and watching his movements knowing that he's growing strong. And speaking of growing, he may be taking after his daddy. The doctor told me at my last appointment that Seth is measuring a bit big for his age, so she scheduled another ultrasound for next week. He's been on track at every other visit and I've only gained six pounds to date, so I'm really hoping the due date will be pushed up or that he was just having a growth spurt. Although I do want him to get his height from his daddy, he can wait to start that until after he has made new living accomodations!

I have been extremely fortunate throughout this pregnancy and have had very few complaints - some soreness now and then and some heartburn. I'm learning to control the heartburn and Michael is great about offering massages whenever I need them. Actually, Michael has been wonderful with all of this and I couldn't imagine doing it without him.

So, that's about it for now. I hope to make entries at least once a week, but we'll see how that goes.

<3