Motherhood is...

simply amazing!

I wasn't sure what I would write at first for this post - there is just so much in my heart and mind and I don't think I could do any of those thoughts justice at this time. But the main thought that keeps coming up is this: how could anyone doubt that there is a God when we have such wonderful blessings in children? I have a son, a baby boy all my own, and no theory, evolution included, could ever explain this to me. I know this train of thought is a little foggy, but it makes sense to me. People are always looking for miracles in life: angels, talking bushes, food that can feed hundreds, cures for "incurable" ailments. But what about daily miracles - the sun shining, birds singing, feelings of well-being, friendship? I've always tried to appreciate these daily miracles that so many take for granted, and now as a mother, I have so many, many more to look forward to.

I've never thought of myself as an overly emotional person; I try to be rational and practical, and this has worked out well for me. However, in this past week emotions are taking over. Seth melts my heart each time he nuzzles up to me and smiles. He is the best thing I've ever done and he gives me a purpose. Motherhood consists of so many things that I will be learning over the course of my life. Not only am I responsible for his daily living needs, but I will be his teacher, mentor, counselor, and friend. I can only hope that I am up for the challenge.

In summary for the past week, things are good. As Michael's post stated, my labor and delivery went very well compared to many women and I am so thankful for it. My recovery has been equally as good. The only downside of this week is that Seth's bilirubin scores have been high, putting him at risk for jaundice. Because of this, we have to take him to the hospital every day to get blood tests. His score is slowly decreasing and we're hoping he will get through this soon. It breaks my heart every time they have to stick him and he screams. He handles it very well and is only upset while the blood is being taken, but I can't wait for it to be over.

Seth is a great little baby, and I can't wait for everyone to meet him. He has now met a small part of our family and has made a good impression, I think. He's not a fussy baby and he doesn't mind being passed around to new people. And, of course, he is adorable! Who wouldn't love him?!

On a side note, Michael is amazing! I had some small doubts as to how he would react during labor. I thought he would become nervous or agitated or even that he would try to crack inappropriate jokes, but he surpassed all of my expectations. He was literally with me every step of the way - not once did he leave my side or become frustrated with me. He supported me through the entire experience and did everything he could for me. I really can't think of anything he could have done better. I am so glad that Seth has such a wonderful male role model as a daddy.

Seth's 0th birthday bash!

(Please note that all spelling and grammatical errors were intentionally included as evidence of our exhaustion)

Friday, Sept. 19th, 12:30pm -
Kristin and I are at a baby shower being held in our honor by my coworkers. There is abundant pizza, gifts, and nerdy jokes (I provided most of these).
Several people ask when our child is due, and I answer Oct. 11th, although technically we are full term so it could be any time soon. "Hopefully not
today though!" (laughter).

Friday, Sept. 19th, 6:15pm -
Having completed my day at work I come home to Kristin who is busily cooking dinner and doing general housework. While picking up some clutter she gasps and runs to the restroom. A few minutes later I hear her timidly call me. "Honey," she says, "either I just had a really embarrasing accident or my water broke!"


Friday, Sept. 19th, 9:00pm -
At UT Hospital the doctor has determined that Kristin's water has broken. We are moved to a delivery room where we are told to expect about 12-14 hours of steadily increasing contractions as Kristin dialates and Seth is prepared to be born.

Friday, Sept. 19th, 11:30pm -
Kristin's contractions have rapidly set in and she is in a lot of pain. She is becoming very discouraged because she does not want another 12 or so hours of this. She finally breaks down enough to call for an epidural.

Saturday, Sept. 20th, 2:00am -
The anesthesioligist has finally gotten a break from several emergency calls and is able to administer Kristin's epidural. She is in extreme pain and has been rocking on the bed desperate for some relief. Unfortunately the epidural proves to be a difficult one and is finally completed after about 30 minutes and 5-6 tries. However it proves to be worth the trouble as after 15 or so minutes Kristin is feeling better and the nurse is able to check how far along she is. The nurse is shocked to find that she is already at 10cm and ready to give birth.

Saturday, Sept. 20th, 3:00am -
Kristin has begun pushing and Seth has made fast progress, and is already crowning. The whole birthing crew is called in and the real show begins, lights descend from the ceiling, Kristin's bed transforms from beneath her into some kind of genius labor platform, and the doctor is in the catching position. Seth's head is slowly pushing through, and the doctor decides we need an episiotimy. After the cut, Seth bursts free in one giant wave of water! It is 3:21 am, and he is born crying in a raspy voice. Kristin exclaims that he sounds like Donald Duck, which elicits a laugh from our attending nurses and doctor. They weigh Seth at 8lbs, 5oz, and measuring 20.5 inches.

Sunday, Sept. 21st, 8:25pm -
Seth is aproaching 2 days old, and Kristin and I combined have gotten maybe five hours of sleep. Our kid is sleepy, and it can be difficult getting him to eat. Because of this we are a little nervous about heading home tomorrow morning, but we know that God will help us get through this difficult period. Personally I expect that within a day or two he will get past this 'sleepy phase' and begin eating and pooping too fast for us to keep up. We're extremely happy, we're extremely tired, and are looking forward to going home to begin life as a new family.

Sprinters Have Nothing on Pregnant Women Headed for the Bathroom!

First thing's first: Seth is doing well. We had our 36 week appointment yesterday where the doctor and ultrasound tech said he is right on target in size. The tech said he is still in the head-down position and his heartrate is strong. She also said that he looks like he only has a little bit of hair, which is the opposite of what she said a few weeks ago, where she pointed out "all that hair." Either way, I'm not going to assume that an ultrasound can detect hair all that well and we'll just expect the amount as a surprise. We did get to witness Seth practice his breathing for a few seconds, which shows up basically as his ribs moving up and down. It's such a weird and amazing concept that there is a human in there getting ready for life in the outside world.

Outside of the visit, but still on the topic of Seth, things are good. He is still keeping pretty calm, although it does seem like he's trying to do some remodeling to his temporary home by pushing as far out as he can. I've tried to reassure him that it's not necessary, but he doesn't listen to reason yet - so I do what I can and gently push back. He eventually takes the hint, gives up, and I assume, goes back to sleep.

I always enjoy the days of my doctor visits, not because of the inevitable hour-long wait to see the doctor with a lack of any decent magazines, but because it gives me the reassurance that my boy is doing well. However, yesterday was a great day for another reason. Michael opted to take an extra week of support calls at work (which makes for very interrupted evenings, nights, and weekends) so that he can take a day off of work and - get this - spend it doing things I want to do!

It began with him going to my appointment with me and keeping me company. After the hour and a half wait/visit, we went to Olive Garden for lunch. Now I know this doesn't seem all that special - we used to go out to eat weekly - but to a woman who has been living on Raisin Bran for the last several weeks, it is a HUGE deal! I knew I would regret it before I even ordered, but I knew it would be worth it, so I went all out. I got pop (with a refill!), a big salad, several breadsticks, and cheese ravioli! Yeah, I was in pain for most of the day and night, but I wouldn't do it any differently. Yum!

So after that, we went to Target to get Michael's dad's birthday present. I know that sounds dull and not worth mentioning, but I've been harrassing Michael about suggestions for his dad for well over a month and it has been eating away at me that we hadn't decided on anything yet. Now that's one thing off my mind.

Finally, we went to Zuma Fun Center. Being as it was a Tuesday, it was nearly empty and we didn't have to wait for anything. We played two rounds of miniature golf (we each won one, although he totally kicked my butt) and several arcade games. It was a lot of fun, except for two things: pregnancy really does make you tire out more quickly, especially when it's warm and when you're near the end of things you really ought to choose your clothing wisely. I had chosen a pair of maternity shorts that have never actually fit well and like to fall off with every couple of steps. Now I know that in some fashions, the whole pants-drooping-off-your-behind is cool, but it makes playing miniature golf (and really anything else) annoying. So I eventually threw in the towel and asked to go home.

The rest of the evening was quiet: I relaxed with my feet propped up and we watched the classic and very cheesy horror movie "Witchboard." We then read a bit, spent quite a bit of time talking about how much our lives are going to change in just a few more weeks, and then went to sleep early.

Although the day wasn't spent at fancy places and we didn't try new and daring things, it was a day that was memorable. I know Michael had to pull some strings to get this day with me and I know he would have done some things differently if it had been up to him. The point of it all is that he actually planned ahead (not a typical Michael thing) and made a day that would be fun for me. Pretty soon our roles are going to be changing and we're not going to be just a husband and wife, but a father and mother. It's reassuring to know that he is still thinking of me, not just as this "mother" figure, but still as the girl he fell for over three years ago: his friend and a girl he still wants to impress. He'll be a great daddy, but I don't see it changing what a great husband he is.

Hush Little Baby...

Today marks my 35th week of pregnancy and it is really starting to hit home. Technically I will be considered full-term in just two more weeks...TWO WEEKS! Now, of course, four or five weeks will be best, and that's what we're hoping for; however, my selfish side is quite ready to have my body back. It will be nice to sleep through the night again (or at least not to be waking up to make trips to the bathroom) and to be able to sleep in whatever position I want. Before becoming pregnant, I was mostly a side-sleeper, but that has become very uncomfortable in the past month or so and now I have no choice but to sleep on my back. Yes, I'm aware that this is the opposite of what most women go through, but I seem to like to deviate from the norm.

Seth has become more lethargic in the past week or so. He still stretches and kicks every now and then, but mostly he seems to be bunkering down for the big adventure to come. Maybe he knows he needs to save his energy. According to the books, he should be close to 19 inches now and a little over five pounds. I'd love to be able to take a peek inside there and see what it's like for him. He's partial to my right side and he seems to like to stretch his little legs up towards my ribs. Thankfully for me, he hasn't started putting his feet in between them yet.

Other than that, I don't have much to report. It's been a very busy week and I know the next few weeks will be busy as well. Really it's a blessing, because as D-Day approaches, I know I will get increasingly nervous. Michael's answer to this is always, "You'll be fine." I know this, but it's not exactly the reassurance I need, so busywork is good for me.