Every new year people set goals. Usually it's losing weight or stopping a bad habit or becoming someone they want to be. My goal this year was to be more present. Maybe not in every moment, because... let's be realistic. But I knew I was scattered and distracted most of the time. My work and my volunteering took the most out of me. My family got the little that was left. And God....He was fit in here and there. It's not how I wanted to be, but I didn't know how to change it. I longed to be Mary and not Martha. I wanted to sit at the feet of Jesus and just soak Him in. I wanted to be Donna Reed and serve my family happily and know everything they thought and felt. I wanted to be Superwoman and make a difference for everyone I came across.
I wasn't.
I'm still not.
It's my favorite time of day right now, just after the sun peaks over the treetops and the colors of the sky are blending together seamlessly. I'm content in this quiet moment. If I was a real grown up, I'd have a mug of coffee in my hand. I rarely see this time; I'm always rushing to make Michael's breakfast, get the boys up, pack Seth's backpack and get the day started for Caleb. I miss this gift every single day. But not today. God made this morning for me. Michael is away camping for the weekend. Caleb is spending this night with his nana. And Seth is finally sleeping through the night after a long week of sickness. Seven nights of checking fever and making adjustments and giving medicine every two hours with minutes of sleep in between, because his coughing was so powerful that sleep evaded us. I was beyond exhausted, lost all of my patience, and was just worn out. And then God woke me this morning, feeling - not necessarily wide awake - but rested. Peaceful, as I watch the sun rise.
Seth patters out the bedroom obviously feeling better, as well. He cuddles on the couch with me, watching me type, because he is nosy like his mother. And I feel the warmth emanating from him as I realize this time is limited. My nine year old is growing up. My six year old is spending the night confidently away from me, with no tears. And in a matter of weeks, we'll be starting over with a brand new little baby. I am entirely blessed and I miss so much of it, because I'm always thinking of the next thing.
Homeschool. Doctor appointments. Homemaking. Playdates. Food planning (I'm so ready for this gestational diabetes to be over). Bible studies. Outings. Keeping up with people. Church activities. Trying to find something for me. Sleep, blessed sleep.
Other women balance all these things and appear to do so flawlessly. I know that's not realistic; we all struggle. But I'd like to look like I manage the same. But I'll settle for just being present. For soaking in the moment. For noticing the sunrise. For the extra cuddles while I hear about the mundane details of the newest video game. While I nod, not understanding anything about Michael's job, but actually listening all the same. While feeling this little lady squirm around inside me. While just sitting in silence and "being still."
It's going to take a long time before I can be that person. It may be my goal for next year, as well. But I want to be gentle and quiet and in the moment. I want to notice the sun every morning and remember to say thank you, because it's a gift. This life is a gift.
Saturday, October 7, 2017
Monday, October 2, 2017
Busy....
Why do we, as a people, place so much value on busyness? I understand that we are not supposed to be idle. We are supposed to be productive, and often times as moms, we seem to run on full-throttle from sun up to past sun down. But why do we feel this is how we are supposed to be? This question has bothered me for a long time. How are we expected to truly have fellowship when we are constantly too busy? What is just busy enough? Do we need to have each child in a sport, club, and all church activities? Do we have to do it all within the home by ourselves? If you're a control-freak like me, you may say yes - but is that wise? A too-busy woman will burn out and be no good to her family. Who wants someone's company who is distracted and hurrying all the time? This is just one of those thoughts I think about sometimes. I wish we still lived in the days when neighbors came over to play cards, ladies baked together, men helped each other with home repair projects, kids took turns playing in each other's yards. I long for that kind of fellowship. I long for quiet moments to really recharge. I am beginning an online group study today called Rest and Release. I'm tired of being Martha....
This week has been busy; I guess that's why my mind went that direction. We had soccer practices, games, church, playdates, family visit, doctor's appointments, a field trip, a consignment sale, and a birthday party. All of that on top of school and regular chores. I'm not happy being that busy, but I keep fooling myself saying it's just a season. It's time I start controlling this season, though, and cutting things out for the sake of myself and my family.
We had our weekly appointment for Lorelei and she is doing fine. We also straightened out the insurance mess, so that was a huge relief! Last week our insurance company stated they would not cover all of the extra appointments, tests, care, etc - just basic maternity care. This weighed heavily on me, as bills were already piling up and we had not even got to the bigger bills yet. But praise God, it was all a misunderstanding and insurance will be covering the majority of our expenses. So now the only concern is how big little Miss will be growing. I'm praying that we will not have to plan on a C-section in the end.
Both boys are doing well. Seth's teacher conference (which ended up being a text message) stated he is doing very well in school and is at the top of his class in math. He has several friends he is close to and I'm so grateful for it, since that was the only reason we went with public school. Caleb is doing great with school. I feel like I'm failing him, in a way, because he really should be pushed harder. I had planned ahead so much, though, that I don't want to waste all that effort. My plan is to get everything ready to go for the new semester at a more challenging pace. This week is fall break for Seth, so I'm hoping I can get a good jump start on that now.
Unfortunately, Seth picked up some kind of virus just as school was ending. He reaches a fever of around 100, but it goes away after one dose of Tylenol each day. It's that cough that never ends - he is just like his mama. If we can get through that and sleep through the night again, it would be wonderful. As if regular pregnancy wasn't enough to keep me awake at night, this certainly isn't helping! But Seth seems to feel pretty well overall, so I can't truly complain.
It's a beautiful early fall day today. The sky is blue, the clouds are fluffy white. We're not losing many leaves just yet, but it is much cooler out with only a high of 80*. We're staying indoors today for a break and to make sure Seth is, in fact, getting better, but I do look forward to getting out tomorrow.
This week has been busy; I guess that's why my mind went that direction. We had soccer practices, games, church, playdates, family visit, doctor's appointments, a field trip, a consignment sale, and a birthday party. All of that on top of school and regular chores. I'm not happy being that busy, but I keep fooling myself saying it's just a season. It's time I start controlling this season, though, and cutting things out for the sake of myself and my family.
We had our weekly appointment for Lorelei and she is doing fine. We also straightened out the insurance mess, so that was a huge relief! Last week our insurance company stated they would not cover all of the extra appointments, tests, care, etc - just basic maternity care. This weighed heavily on me, as bills were already piling up and we had not even got to the bigger bills yet. But praise God, it was all a misunderstanding and insurance will be covering the majority of our expenses. So now the only concern is how big little Miss will be growing. I'm praying that we will not have to plan on a C-section in the end.
Both boys are doing well. Seth's teacher conference (which ended up being a text message) stated he is doing very well in school and is at the top of his class in math. He has several friends he is close to and I'm so grateful for it, since that was the only reason we went with public school. Caleb is doing great with school. I feel like I'm failing him, in a way, because he really should be pushed harder. I had planned ahead so much, though, that I don't want to waste all that effort. My plan is to get everything ready to go for the new semester at a more challenging pace. This week is fall break for Seth, so I'm hoping I can get a good jump start on that now.
Unfortunately, Seth picked up some kind of virus just as school was ending. He reaches a fever of around 100, but it goes away after one dose of Tylenol each day. It's that cough that never ends - he is just like his mama. If we can get through that and sleep through the night again, it would be wonderful. As if regular pregnancy wasn't enough to keep me awake at night, this certainly isn't helping! But Seth seems to feel pretty well overall, so I can't truly complain.
It's a beautiful early fall day today. The sky is blue, the clouds are fluffy white. We're not losing many leaves just yet, but it is much cooler out with only a high of 80*. We're staying indoors today for a break and to make sure Seth is, in fact, getting better, but I do look forward to getting out tomorrow.
Monday, September 25, 2017
Does A Hiatus Even Cover This?
It looks like it's been a few years since I've visited this blog. In fact, I couldn't even remember the address at first! I'm not entirely sure why I'm attempting this again. My life isn't any more interesting nor do I have any more time to invest in this hobby. I guess I just want to remember things for later. And maybe share a few things with loved ones. I've relied on Facebook for years now to keep in touch with everyone, but Facebook has become more depressing than uplifting and I realize I cannot commit to it like I wanted.
See, I'm one of those "guilty" people. I can feel guilty about anything. Yes, anything. I feel guilty if I don't check in on people and make sure they get their "likes." Because everyone wants to be noticed sometimes. But it's kind of exhausting skimming through all the political junk of the day just to show support. So I guess I'm going to try it this way. I'll add my own life in here, ask for those who read to share theirs, and maybe pass on some uplifting or interesting tidbits. It won't be riveting and it won't be a big hit. But it will be honest.
It's been about seven years since I've blogged on here. A lot, yet not a lot, has happened since then. Michael and I have two beautiful boys, whom you know, who are actually 9 and nearly 7. We also have a new little blessing on the way: Lorelei. She was originally due on Caleb's birthday, but has since been moved up to November 18.
Michael is still working at Pilot. He's moving up the ladder and is doing well for himself. I think he mostly enjoys what he does and, thankfully, doesn't have to put in the crazy hours he used to in the beginning. He does still have to work some from home, but I'll take that any day to what he used to do. He has recently started riding trails as a new hobby and still plays video games. He and I occasionally play board or card games when I'm not feeling exhausted.
My life has changed fairly regularly over the years: Soon after Caleb was born I started working a night job at a gym. That lasted about two years, but sleep was an issue and my immune system wore itself out and I finally had to quit. Then I stayed home for a bit with the boys. A new job opportunity fell in my lap working in the social work field again. I stayed there a little over a year, but it put a strain on the family. I had to have Caleb in daycare part-time and it was terribly disorganized and red flags started popping up all over; so I quit that, too. That's when we began our homeschooling journey. We did that for a year and a half until we ran out of options for the boys to make friends - nothing was working, so we tried public school. Seth loved it and Caleb did not. So Seth has returned for a second year and Caleb has come back to homeschooling. Both boys are doing well; I'm blessed that they are quick and eager learners. I was able to teach preschool for a year and a half and it was a great learning experience. I was terrified of that much responsibility for so many little hearts, but it went fairly smoothly.
During this time, we attended a great church. We had a great group and then had the privilege of serving in the nursery for several years. I have to say I really loved working with the kids. There is something so amazing about little ones - there is no judgment, no hidden agendas, no expectations - they just love you for you. It was a great time. I found a niche in the children's department and I'm glad it was something I was able to experience. However, all things must come to an end. I believe God not only closed that door for me, but slammed it shut and locked the door. It was painful, but must have been necessary. I have to be honest, I sulked for a while. I felt I lost my job, my volunteering, my friends, and my church family all in 12 hours time. But God uses all things for good and I know He has a bigger plan for me. I just wasn't right for that position anymore and it wasn't right for me, either.
We also fixed up and sold our home during this break. That was truly a blessing, because God moved mountains....and quickly! The first person to look at our house, two hours after listing it, made the offer and it was sold three weeks later. I truly did not believe we'd be able to sell our little home, and certainly not so quickly. Now we're in a holding place, living in an apartment, rebuilding our nest egg, and deciding what comes next. My heart longs for home, for a place to belong; to be welcomed somewhere, to see the farms during harvest time, to feel settled. I don't know if that will ever happen, but a girl can dream. For now we have our own little dream to think about....
Lorelei is due in 8 weeks, or so they say. This pregnancy has been a bit more difficult than with the boys. I guess that comes with age. I developed gestational diabetes this time around and fairly early. But just to add some excitement, my body does not want to respond to the medications/diet predictably. We're both healthy, we're just not where the doctors want us to be. That being said, we have far too many appointments, extra (uninsured) bills, meds in our cabinet, and hoops to jump through. That being said, the doctor did mention that we may need to induce or consider C-section if Lorelei decides to jump in growth anymore. It kind of breaks my heart, because it just feels like another area of my life that I'm failing in, but I'll take what I can get. So long as she is as healthy as possible and we have the means to support what she needs, I'll be happy.
Happy. Joyful. I'm working on that. I have to be honest; it's been difficult lately. I think we all struggle with depression here and there. Thankfully I've never had a serious case of it and have never required medication - such a blessing. But it can be a struggle for me during certain seasons. These last few months have been such a season. But I'm working on digging down and finding the joy again. God is good and He is faithful. It is I who gets so needy and whiny and self-centered. So I may also use this blog to remind myself of the good in my life, because truly my life is good! And maybe we can share this life together in the quiet moments.
See, I'm one of those "guilty" people. I can feel guilty about anything. Yes, anything. I feel guilty if I don't check in on people and make sure they get their "likes." Because everyone wants to be noticed sometimes. But it's kind of exhausting skimming through all the political junk of the day just to show support. So I guess I'm going to try it this way. I'll add my own life in here, ask for those who read to share theirs, and maybe pass on some uplifting or interesting tidbits. It won't be riveting and it won't be a big hit. But it will be honest.
It's been about seven years since I've blogged on here. A lot, yet not a lot, has happened since then. Michael and I have two beautiful boys, whom you know, who are actually 9 and nearly 7. We also have a new little blessing on the way: Lorelei. She was originally due on Caleb's birthday, but has since been moved up to November 18.
Michael is still working at Pilot. He's moving up the ladder and is doing well for himself. I think he mostly enjoys what he does and, thankfully, doesn't have to put in the crazy hours he used to in the beginning. He does still have to work some from home, but I'll take that any day to what he used to do. He has recently started riding trails as a new hobby and still plays video games. He and I occasionally play board or card games when I'm not feeling exhausted.
My life has changed fairly regularly over the years: Soon after Caleb was born I started working a night job at a gym. That lasted about two years, but sleep was an issue and my immune system wore itself out and I finally had to quit. Then I stayed home for a bit with the boys. A new job opportunity fell in my lap working in the social work field again. I stayed there a little over a year, but it put a strain on the family. I had to have Caleb in daycare part-time and it was terribly disorganized and red flags started popping up all over; so I quit that, too. That's when we began our homeschooling journey. We did that for a year and a half until we ran out of options for the boys to make friends - nothing was working, so we tried public school. Seth loved it and Caleb did not. So Seth has returned for a second year and Caleb has come back to homeschooling. Both boys are doing well; I'm blessed that they are quick and eager learners. I was able to teach preschool for a year and a half and it was a great learning experience. I was terrified of that much responsibility for so many little hearts, but it went fairly smoothly.
During this time, we attended a great church. We had a great group and then had the privilege of serving in the nursery for several years. I have to say I really loved working with the kids. There is something so amazing about little ones - there is no judgment, no hidden agendas, no expectations - they just love you for you. It was a great time. I found a niche in the children's department and I'm glad it was something I was able to experience. However, all things must come to an end. I believe God not only closed that door for me, but slammed it shut and locked the door. It was painful, but must have been necessary. I have to be honest, I sulked for a while. I felt I lost my job, my volunteering, my friends, and my church family all in 12 hours time. But God uses all things for good and I know He has a bigger plan for me. I just wasn't right for that position anymore and it wasn't right for me, either.
We also fixed up and sold our home during this break. That was truly a blessing, because God moved mountains....and quickly! The first person to look at our house, two hours after listing it, made the offer and it was sold three weeks later. I truly did not believe we'd be able to sell our little home, and certainly not so quickly. Now we're in a holding place, living in an apartment, rebuilding our nest egg, and deciding what comes next. My heart longs for home, for a place to belong; to be welcomed somewhere, to see the farms during harvest time, to feel settled. I don't know if that will ever happen, but a girl can dream. For now we have our own little dream to think about....
Lorelei is due in 8 weeks, or so they say. This pregnancy has been a bit more difficult than with the boys. I guess that comes with age. I developed gestational diabetes this time around and fairly early. But just to add some excitement, my body does not want to respond to the medications/diet predictably. We're both healthy, we're just not where the doctors want us to be. That being said, we have far too many appointments, extra (uninsured) bills, meds in our cabinet, and hoops to jump through. That being said, the doctor did mention that we may need to induce or consider C-section if Lorelei decides to jump in growth anymore. It kind of breaks my heart, because it just feels like another area of my life that I'm failing in, but I'll take what I can get. So long as she is as healthy as possible and we have the means to support what she needs, I'll be happy.
Happy. Joyful. I'm working on that. I have to be honest; it's been difficult lately. I think we all struggle with depression here and there. Thankfully I've never had a serious case of it and have never required medication - such a blessing. But it can be a struggle for me during certain seasons. These last few months have been such a season. But I'm working on digging down and finding the joy again. God is good and He is faithful. It is I who gets so needy and whiny and self-centered. So I may also use this blog to remind myself of the good in my life, because truly my life is good! And maybe we can share this life together in the quiet moments.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
New Life, New Year, New Post
I told myself I was going to do better about blogging now that I have two sons to keep track of. However...that just hasn't happened this month. Between Caleb being born, Thanksgiving, Christmas, family visiting, the new year, and especially getting used to having two boys (one of which is still not on a sleep schedule, the other having coughing fits through the night), well, I just haven't had the energy to fit in blogging. From now on I'm going to try to write short notes just so I don't go a full 6 weeks between posts again.
Caleb is doing great. At his one month appointment he weighed 11 lbs and measured 21.5". He's at 90% for his weight and 75% for his height (sound familiar?). The first few weeks were a little stressful with him. He didn't have jaundice, eating, or real bowel problems like Seth did; he either developed an eye infection in both eyes or his tear ducts were not opened all the way and his eyes became infected. His poor eyes were so nasty they would crust over while he slept and I was constantly cleaning goop out of them. I was afraid I had passed pink eye to him, but the doctor said it wasn't and she prescribed an ointment we had to use for a week. Thankfully it cleared them all up.
Other than that, Caleb is the typical baby. He's had a good appetite and he's right on track for his development. At five weeks he really started to become much more alert and noticing his surroundings more. He's incredibly strong and can support his head for a while, is good at tummy time, and stands (with assistance) for several seconds. Of course, it's not really standing as much as it is stretching, I'm sure, but it's still pretty cool.
He is definitely a cuddle bug like Seth, although he does sleep much, much better! He needs to be swaddled or have his hands held or else he wakes himself up. He also takes a pacifier or sucks on his hands. But he'll sleep in his crib or his rocker for a few hours. Last night he actually slept from 12:30 until 5:30, which was great!
Seth has been doing much better than anticipated with all the changes having a baby brother brings. He was a little jealous the first few days, but really I couldn't have expected any better. He still doesn't pay a lot of attention to Caleb, but occasionally he will look at him, give him a kiss, or try to give him his pacifier.
In the last few weeks Seth has made some amazing progress with his speech. He will try to repeat whatever you ask him and it usually sounds pretty close. Two weeks ago he started using a few two-word phrases: "Hi, Mommy", "Hi, Daddy", and "More please." Two days ago he actually said "More cake please" and "More cookie please." He doesn't do it often, but I'm sure that by the time he is three, Seth will be right on track with talking.
As always, Seth is my little ham. Christmas day and new year's day was spent getting LOTS of attention from the family and he soaked it up! And whenever the camera comes out, he wants to be center stage.
Other than that, everything has been pretty normal. Christmas day was spent with family and was a great time, as always. New year's day was Mom's party and was a lot of fun. And now we're on to a new year that will surely bring many blessings (and hopefully many posts)....
Caleb is doing great. At his one month appointment he weighed 11 lbs and measured 21.5". He's at 90% for his weight and 75% for his height (sound familiar?). The first few weeks were a little stressful with him. He didn't have jaundice, eating, or real bowel problems like Seth did; he either developed an eye infection in both eyes or his tear ducts were not opened all the way and his eyes became infected. His poor eyes were so nasty they would crust over while he slept and I was constantly cleaning goop out of them. I was afraid I had passed pink eye to him, but the doctor said it wasn't and she prescribed an ointment we had to use for a week. Thankfully it cleared them all up.
Other than that, Caleb is the typical baby. He's had a good appetite and he's right on track for his development. At five weeks he really started to become much more alert and noticing his surroundings more. He's incredibly strong and can support his head for a while, is good at tummy time, and stands (with assistance) for several seconds. Of course, it's not really standing as much as it is stretching, I'm sure, but it's still pretty cool.
He is definitely a cuddle bug like Seth, although he does sleep much, much better! He needs to be swaddled or have his hands held or else he wakes himself up. He also takes a pacifier or sucks on his hands. But he'll sleep in his crib or his rocker for a few hours. Last night he actually slept from 12:30 until 5:30, which was great!
Seth has been doing much better than anticipated with all the changes having a baby brother brings. He was a little jealous the first few days, but really I couldn't have expected any better. He still doesn't pay a lot of attention to Caleb, but occasionally he will look at him, give him a kiss, or try to give him his pacifier.
In the last few weeks Seth has made some amazing progress with his speech. He will try to repeat whatever you ask him and it usually sounds pretty close. Two weeks ago he started using a few two-word phrases: "Hi, Mommy", "Hi, Daddy", and "More please." Two days ago he actually said "More cake please" and "More cookie please." He doesn't do it often, but I'm sure that by the time he is three, Seth will be right on track with talking.
As always, Seth is my little ham. Christmas day and new year's day was spent getting LOTS of attention from the family and he soaked it up! And whenever the camera comes out, he wants to be center stage.
Other than that, everything has been pretty normal. Christmas day was spent with family and was a great time, as always. New year's day was Mom's party and was a lot of fun. And now we're on to a new year that will surely bring many blessings (and hopefully many posts)....
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Not A Minute Too Soon...
Caleb finally decided to join us! Apparently he is going to be just like the rest of his family and do things in his own way and when he wants to.
November 22 was Caleb's official due date; however, since he'd been measuring big for his age, we were going to discuss induction at that day's appointment. It isn't something Michael and I wanted to do, but seeing as the doctor's office was becoming increasingly hostile at each visit and Caleb seemed to just keep getting bigger, we decided it was for the best. To our surprise, Caleb decided that was not the route to take.
The night before Caleb was born, I was not able to sleep well. I was anxious, uncomfortable, and taking hourly bathroom breaks. I woke up just before 3:00, for what must have been the umpteenth time, peed, and went back to bed. At about 3:10 my stomach really started hurting. It didn't feel quite like the contractions everyone described, so I chalked it up to gas. However, after a few minutes of some semi-serious pain, I decided to see if any of my female friends were online so I could ask their opinion. My aunt Sandra was on and I described it to her. She agreed it must be gas, too, because it wasn't my whole stomach in pain. By the time we discussed this, though, the pain had increased quite a bit. I told her I had now changed my mind on the matter and was going to wake up Michael. I closed the laptop, stood up, and felt a trickle. It was barely anything, and even though I hadn't had an accident like this, I thought it still might be. So, I bent this way and that, squatted, and tried every way to see if any more would come out. It didn't, so I was still considering the possibility that it was an accident. I have to mention that at this point in my pregnancy I was feeling very disheartened and felt like Caleb would never come, so my thinking was quite negative.
I woke Michael up and told him I needed his help. By the time he woke up enough to realize what I was talking about, the pain really started setting in. Our bag was mostly packed except for a few last minute items, so we took turns timing the contractions and packing up the bag. The largest gap in time was three minutes, so I knew we were running short on time.
My mom thankfully lives next door and came over to stay with Seth. As soon as her foot hit our porch we were out of there! I called the doctor's office on the way to the hospital and found it increasingly difficult to speak with patience. By this point the contractions were a minute and a half to two minutes apart. When we got to the hospital, Michael dropped me off at the entrance and went to park the car. There was not a single employee in sight and I couldn't remember which set of elevators to take! By the time Michael parked and came in, I had already searched four hallways and we finally found a janitor who kindly took us to the right set of elevators.
At this point I'm just about ready to cry from embarrassment because I can't even continue walking upright. We made it to the check-in counter, with me hunched over, and she wanted to start going over paperwork. We told her that we pre-registered only to hear that we still had to go over all the paperwork. Obviously she did not believe us that we were that close to having a baby!
She took us to the triage room and started asking me questions as I quickly discarded my clothes for the paper gown. It wasn't until she hooked me up to the monitor that she realized how close we really were. She called several nurses and the doctor, who was apparently not there or in the middle of something, because I heard one of the nurses say it's going to be a few. A few?! We don't have a few!
After all of the questions, they wheeled me to the Labor and Delivery room where they told me that they have to wait for my labs to return before administering the epidural - and I'm already at a solid 8 cm. I just shook my head and said we weren't going to make it. The nurse stated, in what I'm sure was supposed to be a reassuring voice, that we still had plenty of time. Little did she know we were running on Caleb's schedule and not hers.
The contractions were only seconds apart and Michael's hand was probably slightly deformed at this point from all of my squeezing. All of my focus was on praying to God that He help me get through this pain. I stopped talking and responding to anyone and just resorted to shaking my head no every time they told me we were going to have the epidural soon. After about 15 minutes the anesthesiologist made it into the room and started setting up his gear. I heard him open up his supplies as he told me to sit on the edge of the bed. Again I told them we were not going to make it and they assured me we would. As soon as I sat up, Caleb's heartrate dropped and the nurse made me lay back down. She checked me again and (shock) said that I was at 10 cm and that there wasn't enough time to have the epidural.
No sooner had the words escaped her mouth that my body started pushing. I heard voices telling me I can't push yet and I have to stop. I told them I couldn't stop and that Caleb was coming. Four pushes later and I heard Michael tell me Caleb's head is out and with one more push the rest of him joined us. He didn't cry right away like Seth did and I almost didn't believe it was over until I opened my eyes and saw them cleaning him up. The placenta came out right afterwards and the doctor quickly sewed me up. I actually never even laid eyes on the doctor, it was so quick!
And then they handed me this little bundle of joy - my Caleb. He measured 20" and weighed a whopping 9 lbs 8 oz! His face was slightly bruised and the nurses said that it was because of his quick descent. I would say quick - from my first contraction at 3:10 until his birth at 5:14, the entire labor and delivery took two hours and four minutes. I guess I really do take after my mamaw. I'm sure she'd get a chuckle out of that, too.
Everything else during the hospital stay went relatively smoothly. The downfall to it all was that I had a nasty cold and/or sinus infection and double conjunctivitis when I was admitted. The nurses didn't believe it was pink eye until that evening when my doctor finally showed up and prescribed some eye drops. So, despite how painful natural childbirth is, my real complaints had to do with my eyes, congestion, and the loss of my hearing in one ear. That, and with Michael staying home with Seth, it did feel quite lonely.
Since our arrival home we have been learning to deal with our new arrangement. Sleep is fleeting and Seth is very jealous and has taken to having several meltdowns a day. We expected that, though. I have Michael home with me for two more days and then it's just me and the boys. I have to admit I'm afraid of what's to come, but I'm sure it will all work out, because....well, we
have no choice!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Loving this Fall Weather!
Fall is my favorite season: it's finally cooling off, the leaves are changing color, I get to unpack my sweaters, and comfort foods start being made! Then two years ago I got to add another reason for loving fall - Seth's birth! And now, this year, I'll be adding yet another birth. Caleb is due November 20th, but we're really expecting him to come any day. I'm just too big to go the full term.
I have my 36/37 week appointment tomorrow to see if Caleb is in the head-down position. I'm expecting my weight gain to be about 15 lbs at that point. Seth was born at 37 weeks exactly and weighed 8 lbs 5 oz and was on target for growth. Caleb has been measuring a week ahead of target for the last six weeks, so my guess/fear is that he's already at that 8 lb mark. Let's hope he doesn't get too big!
Seth has been growing a lot lately in terms of development. He tries to be a lot more vocal and will now say "Mama" and "Daddy" to refer to us appropriately. He also says goodbye and go. He tries just about everything they ask him to do in therapy. Of course, OT is mostly playing, so that's easy enough. But he was struggling with using certain facial muscles for speech and would refuse to make certain sounds or oral shapes, like pushing his lips out. HOWEVER, all on his own, he started giving kisses a few days ago. I don't mean pushing his face against ours like he has been doing forever. I mean, pushing his lips out and making the smacking sound to go with it! And when he kisses, he gives lots of them! Oh, he's just been so sweet lately!
I guess the only other thing to mention at this point is that we took Seth to "Boo at the Zoo" and he dressed up as an astronaut and had fun. He also helped clean a pumpkin, which he didn't enjoy quite as much. He still doesn't like to get sticky, but he was ok pulling out one seed at a time. He was very happy with the finished result, though, and points to the jack-o-lantern several times a day. We have also had several family outings to Chuck E Cheese and he LOVES it there. It's hard to reign him in, but it's totally worth it.
I guess that's it for now...just waiting (impatiently) on Caleb...
I have my 36/37 week appointment tomorrow to see if Caleb is in the head-down position. I'm expecting my weight gain to be about 15 lbs at that point. Seth was born at 37 weeks exactly and weighed 8 lbs 5 oz and was on target for growth. Caleb has been measuring a week ahead of target for the last six weeks, so my guess/fear is that he's already at that 8 lb mark. Let's hope he doesn't get too big!
Seth has been growing a lot lately in terms of development. He tries to be a lot more vocal and will now say "Mama" and "Daddy" to refer to us appropriately. He also says goodbye and go. He tries just about everything they ask him to do in therapy. Of course, OT is mostly playing, so that's easy enough. But he was struggling with using certain facial muscles for speech and would refuse to make certain sounds or oral shapes, like pushing his lips out. HOWEVER, all on his own, he started giving kisses a few days ago. I don't mean pushing his face against ours like he has been doing forever. I mean, pushing his lips out and making the smacking sound to go with it! And when he kisses, he gives lots of them! Oh, he's just been so sweet lately!
I guess the only other thing to mention at this point is that we took Seth to "Boo at the Zoo" and he dressed up as an astronaut and had fun. He also helped clean a pumpkin, which he didn't enjoy quite as much. He still doesn't like to get sticky, but he was ok pulling out one seed at a time. He was very happy with the finished result, though, and points to the jack-o-lantern several times a day. We have also had several family outings to Chuck E Cheese and he LOVES it there. It's hard to reign him in, but it's totally worth it.
I guess that's it for now...just waiting (impatiently) on Caleb...
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