Down With the Sickness

Seth was up and down last night with a slight fever and a major case of the sniffles. Michael and I finally took him out of his crib at 5:30, because it was clear he was up for good. The poor little man's eyes were a little puffy and red, he was still oozing snot, was too warm for having the fan on, and just didn't seem like his normal self. Michael and I chalked it up to allergies since everyone is getting hit with them.

I called the doctor's office as soon as they opened, and after being put on hold for 32 minutes, the nurse agreed that his symptoms sounded like allergies and to give him 1 tsp of Children's Benadryl. Now, the box says not to give it to children under the age of six and at that age they would get 1 tsp. So, I called the doctor back before buying the medicine. She assured me it was ok and that was the recommended dosage. Naturally I texted my bff, DR.(!) Bryan Dodd, to verify what she said and he told me that I should give Seth 12.5 mg. Now mg cannot be converted into tsp without some fancy formula. So, needless to say after googling quite a bit and doing much more math than I have in a long time, I found that 12.5 mg of Children's Benadryl is 1 tsp! (I know that was incredibly boring, but it took a lot of effort on my part.)

So, I gave Seth his medicine and his snack and he went to sleep. He dozed off and on for a while before he woke up crying. When I picked him up he felt even hotter, so I took his temperature, which he is not fond of. He had a fever of 102.4. I called the doctor and got an appointment for that afternoon. I took him in, we waited. They weighed him, we waited. The doctor saw him, we waited. The nurse took swabs of his throat and nose to check for flu and strep, we waited and waited. And finally the doctor came back and said he showed negative for both and that he probably has Roseola.

Roseola lasts for several days with the first three to four days averaging a high fever and leaving the patient contagious. Once the fever declines, he will develop a rash that will spread to his whole body and may or may not itch. At this point, he is no longer contagious (but who really wants to bring them out looking like that?!). So it looks like Seth and I will be homebound for the next week or so.

My poor baby barely cried or fussed all day, which is so unusual for him. He was mosty just zoned out and clung to me like a little monkey. It's odd to miss crying and fussing when normally you pray for quiet days like today. But I know why he's quiet and it makes me so miserable for him. I put him to bed an hour early, hoping that he can catch up on the sleep he missed last night and maybe sleep this thing off.

It's times like this that I wish Michael were home with me. It's not that I can't handle it, it's just sort of heartbreaking when your baby gets sick for the first time and you can't do anything about it. Which got me thinking....

The next four years are really going to suck in a way. As it is, Michael works a normal job, but then brings work home regularly. Sure, he usually tries to do it after I've gone to bed, but I usually end up going to bed early so that he doesn't have to stay up too late working on it. We don't spend the time together that I wish we could. Not that we aren't fortunate, because we do get to see each other a lot more than other couples do; I'm just selfish. But anyway, Michael's semester started this past Saturday. He has classes on Wednesday and Friday nights and Saturday mornings. We signed up for small groups: his is on Tuesday nights, mine is on Thursday nights. That leaves Monday, Saturday, and Sunday nights open for me. But where does homework fit in? Right, so that leaves some time for me. Some is still better than none, but not as good as a lot. And so this is roughly how the next four years will go.

The situation makes a lot of questions. If we were to have another child, when would we? Michael wouldn't be able to be involved until he/she was a toddler unless he postponed school more, which postpones school more. How can I plan for special father/son time when there's barely any time? I'm lonely now; how am I going to feel next semester? Year? Presidential term? It makes me miss my friends. I'm very grateful I have my family here, because they really are some of my closest friends. (I mean, who else is more easily manipulated to go garage-saleing, grab lunch, or have game nights?!) But I really hope that I make some friends closer to my age who may be experiencing similar things. Anyway, that was a lot of random thoughts thrown together, but that's how my mind works: point A to G to V to 2.

How do I get from a blog about my poor little angel getting sick to feeling sorry for myself? It comes naturally - I'm selfish and self-pitying and I have another 1 1/2 hours until my husband comes home. Blah...

10 Months Old

These are Seth's latest pictures, spanning from 45 weeks to 47 weeks. I haven't been keeping up with his achievements obviously, but here is a quick run down. (Don't mind the red-eye; my program has stopped clearing up red eyes for some reason.)

1. Seth is completely off the pacifier. As it turns out, it was more for us than him anyway. He didn't even realize when we took it away. Now we just have to find other ways to distract him when he's fussing.

2. He is standing while holding on to furniture. He doesn't actually seem to want to walk yet, but he'll take a few steps if he has to. And he definitely will if he sees a phone or remote control within reach.

3. Seth is no longer pacified with a toy while shopping. He wants to touch EVERYTHING! I wonder who he could have inherited that from? Hmm.....

4. He is mobile and quick! I can put something in the sink and come right back and he's on the other side of the room or halfway to finding me!

5. Seth's favorite game to play is catch. He does not care if it is with someone or by himself. As long as something is moving and he can go get it, he loves it.

6. He is wearing pajamas! Ok, I know that's really not an achievement, but did you see how cute he looked in them?!

7. Seth is still not talking, but he does jabber a lot.

8. He did love Wheel of Fortune for about a week, then that phase passed. It's too bad, too; it comes on during his fussy time right before bed. He will watch a few minutes of Little Einsteins, but mainly just during the intro. He loves music - which is great, because we listen to it all day.

9. Seth loves to eat! That's nothing new, but he's getting much better at feeding himself snacks. He's getting to the point now where he wants to hold the spoon during mealtime. Oy! That's going to be a mess when I have to give in.

10. He just gets cuter every day!

Give Praise Everyday - Everyday!

Obviously I'm not keeping up on this blog, but it's partly out of laziness, partly because we're working on Seth's room in the evenings, and partly because you all know what's going on with Seth already. So, I'm probably just going to post when I'm inspired. Well, today I was inspired! (Don't worry, no politics involved)

As most of you know, Michael is returning to school this semester. We've been discussing how we can trim our budget so that we can afford tuition, fees, and books. Well, I don't know why I did it, but I let that little demon called Fear into my heart. Money is tight at the moment and I didn't know what we were going to do; I didn't know what I could do to help this situation. I tried donating plasma, but apparently my veins are too small and "would collapse." I looked for jobs, but none work with my staying home with Seth and Michael going to school in the evenings. Fear crept deeper into my heart. I almost suggested to Michael that he drop a class. Why was I so stupid? I never, NEVER worry about money; everything I've ever desired has been given to me. So, I prayed about it - something I should have done from the beginning.

Well, wouldn't you know that once you have faith, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! First we found that Michael was eligible for a Pell Grant that would cover most of his tuition and fees. That still left $300+ for books. Where was I going to find that in the next few weeks? I signed on to Michael's account this morning to make sure his paperwork was proceeding like it should be. Obviously we're anxious about his grant going through. Well, right there on the sign-in page is a bold statement: "Sign up for weekend classes and receive half off tuition." It may as well have said, "Kristin, have faith and it will be done." The difference between his old class and his new weekend class covers the majority of the cost of his books. So what we're going to have to pay is just a small percentage of the original cost.

It's moments like these that bring me to tears. What a fool I was to worry about such worldly things as money. Not only has God given me all that I require, but He's always given me all that I desire! With all the things going on the world, He cares about the trivial things in our lives, because He knows that trivial or not, they affect us. And although I don't deserve it at all, my Lord looked into my heart, heard my prayers, and said, "Yes, I will carry you through this, too." How can words possibly describe how very fortunate I am?! I am healthy, I am rich with so many blessings, and I am saved! I never should have doubted, and now I sit here, humbled once again, that God loves me so much. I know I don't deserve it, but I am so thankful, so incredibly thankful, that He does.

Here I Go A-Pondering...

Well, I've changed my mind about not blogging. My main forums of keeping in touch with friends and family have been through Myspace and Facebook. However, Michael seems to think that those sites are the primary causes of computer viruses, so I'm trying to avoid them...well, Myspace, at least. So I guess that means that I'll have to keep our blog up for an extra means of communication.

Today's post isn't about any one thing in particular. It's more or less a summary of the past few weeks' thoughts and moments.

To begin with, the church we've been attending, Sevier Heights, had a special guest speaker today - you guessed it, Kirk Cameron! I thought that was pretty cool myself. He conducted a marriage seminar at the church yesterday, but Michael and I weren't able to go. So you can imagine my surprise when he was the guest speaker this morning. He had some pretty insightful points, some of which really applied to myself and my life. He discussed marriage, witnessing, and being PC in today's world.

One of the things he mentioned that stood out in my mind was when people say, "I was xx old when I found God." Kirk quoted that we don't find God, that God finds us. Well, I understand what he was trying to say, but I prefer to think of it in a different way. We don't find God and God doesn't find us. To say that God finds us implies that He didn't know us or wasn't watching out for us for a time. And as we all know, we are always in God's sight and He is always watching and always waiting for us. He knows every hair on our head and knows every thought in our mind. I think a more accurate statement isn't that we found God or that God found us, but that we finally answered His call. He's been pleading for our hearts from the time we were born; it was our own ignorance, our own stubborness, our own pridefulness that kept us from hearing his knock.

Kirk also talked about being PC in today's society. I try to be sensitive to people's feelings and use correct terminology. And I definitely don't want to seem like I'm pushing my beliefs on anyone. When views are pushed on someone, it seems to drive them away. I prefer discussions as a way of witnessing. Unfortunately, I'm very ignorant to Biblical history and theology in general, through no fault but my own. I really need to study and sink my heart into the Word. But I also feel that God speaks to you every day and you can learn so much through that.

One point in particular that has become a recent discussion for me is homosexuality. Now this is not a political forum, so I'll keep it short. I have several friends and family members who identify as being gay. From a Christian standpoint, I naturally disagree with the lifestyle in the same way that I disagree with other sinful lifestyles. However, the point I want to make is that I refuse to judge these people. In God's eyes, sin is sin. Every sin is hurtful to Him and disregards the laws that He gave to us. I sin constantly, and if it weren't for God's forgiving nature and His Son's sacrifice, I would be headed towards the worst future. Thankfully I was raised in a Christian-oriented environment and was able to hear the Good News growing up. I've been forgiven, just as we all will be if we just humble ourselves enough to ask for it.

I'm not perfect - I am, in fact, a sinner, in need of constant redirection. I am proud. I've chosen to stay in bed instead of worshiping my Lord (idolatry). I've worked on the Sabbath...many times. I've fought with my parents and I've hurt them. If hating is murder, I am a murderer, because I have hated in the past. Lies...I've told a lot of lies. And every time, every horrible time I did these things, I hurt my God, my Savior. How vain would I be if I thought that the sins of a non-believer, who does not know God's Word and Law, were worse than mine, a Christian, who knows the Law and decidedly breaks them time and time again? Truly, I am below them and have no right to judge. And finally, one last thought of mine. There has been argument about whether or not individuals who consider themselves gay should be allowed to join a church. This is a tricky question. The point I'd like to make is that we don't screen potential members to see if they're adulterers, alcoholics, pornography addicts, thieves, liars, blasphemers, gamblers, abusers, or any other sinful type of person. If we did, I'm fairly certain the sanctuaries would be empty, because again, we're all sinners. The difference in this situation is that homosexual church members may not hide their sins like the rest of us. Their sin is fairly obvious, if they choose it to be. Now I don't know if this lifestyle is chosen or ingrained in their psyche. Most Christians seem to believe that it's chosen, and if that is true, what better place is there for love and support to make spiritual decisions than within the church? I don't know, I guess I'm rambling, but this is something I've been thinking about lately. I know the people who read this blog will probably disagree with most of what I have to say, but it's how I feel, and I'm thankful that God has given me the gifts of sympathy and empathy. I'm also so thankful that He reminds me of the woman He wants me to be, nay, expects me to be, and that He tells me to keep raising the bar for myself. I can always be better and He knows it. I just need to believe it and keep striving for that.

On a side note, there will be an update on Seth soon. He's changing so much!

Hiatus

Well, I finally hooked up my old computer and am able to access the internet again. After not having it for a few weeks, I came to the conclusion that I really don't need it that much. In fact, I think I'm going to try to focus on "more important" things, find new interests, and discover some hidden talent. Or maybe I'll just waste time with something else. Whatever comes of this, I've decided I'm not going to blog for a while. Maybe I'll pick it back up sometime, maybe not. It just seems sort of silly to write posts when everyone already knows the buzz on Seth before I get the chance to write it. So, sianara!

Insecurities

Most of you probably know this already, but our house got broken into on Wednesday. Seth and I left early to go grocery shopping and Michael left soon after us. I was gone just over an hour. When we got back it was already time for Seth's nap, so I went straight into our room, laid him down, and closed the door. I was about to unpack the groceries from the car when I stepped on a piece of glass. I had the curtains closed and the lights off, so I didn't notice the huge pieces of glass in the sink and on the counter until I had already dialed Michael. I was going to yell at him for not cleaning up his mess when I suddenly saw the glass. I pulled the blinds to the side and there was a big gaping hole. As he answered it hit me and the heavy feeling in my stomach hit - someone broke in and I had just left Seth alone in the bedroom with the door closed! I told Michael someone broke in and I needed him home now. I got Seth, ran out the door and into my car,and called the police. I told them I was parking in the lot across the street. After 30 minutes of talking to dispatch and waiting for an officer to arrive, I asked if I could get off the phone. I called my ex-partner and told her the situation. Miraculously, even though all of the officers in my area were busy while I was talking to dispatch, once she called an officer arrived within minutes. Obviously the burglar was long gone when he did his walk-through.

We then had to wait for another 2 1/2 hours before the crime lab came. They didn't seem too thrilled about looking for prints and nearly didn't bother, telling Michael "It will just make more of a mess of your house than it's worth." Does no one care about justice anymore?! This guy stole from us and took away our feeling of safety!

After looking around, we discovered that he took the laptop (with ALL of my pictures of Seth), the Xbox, several Xbox accessories and a borrowed game, my anniversary ring (which I hadn't even worn yet), a jar of change, and the rest of Becca's birthday present - a bag of desk accessories for the desk we bought her. Our back screen is useless now, and is unfortunately an unusual size, so we've yet to get a door to replace it. We have to special order one. Our adjuster "won't be in Knoxville until Tuesday,"(6 days after the break-in) and the adjuster in charge of our theft "might get to our case next week."

So here some scumbag breaks into our house and probably sells our belongings for a few lousy bucks, meanwhile we're out $500 for the deductable, plus the difference in cost for making our house safe again, plus the cost of getting a security system, and who knows what else, and he walks free because he's just not worth the trouble of finding. Oh yeah, the investigation department didn't answer their phone Thursday or today so I had to leave messages, they're off on the weekends, so I may get to report what was stolen on Monday at the earliest. It just sickens me that everyone is so lax on crime and making neighborhoods safe. So Michael and I have decided that we're going to start a Neighborhood Watch. I'm not particularly fond of public speaking or leading people, but somebody has to do it. We're a vulnerable neighborhood full of elderly people, mothers with small children, and people with disabilities. This isn't a bad neighborhood and I'm certainly not going to stand by and let it become one.

Milestones

It's been a while since I posted a blog about Seth, but a lot has been happening. The most important thing is Seth's sleeping habits. He sleeps wonderfully through the night now. He goes to bed at 8:00 and may wake up a couple of times, but he doesn't cry anymore. He wriggles around until he gets comfortable again and goes right back to sleep. And, get this, he sleeps until 6:00! Boy do I love that! I can't tell you how much of a difference it's made; I'm so much happier. Naptime is still a bit of a struggle. He typically sleeps about 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the afternoon. It's not great, but I'm thankful for it.

The next big development is Seth's teeth. He has two beautiful teeth poking through on the bottom, one that just cut through on the top and he's working on his other top tooth. It's so amazing to see the changes from day to day, and he loves showing you, so long as you don't touch!

On to more exciting news - Seth is crawling! He started off pulling himself along with his arms and sort of kicking off with his left leg, but now he's actually picking his knees up. It's fun seeing him put on his determined face and crawl across the frontroom to his toy. I cherish it now, because I know in a few more weeks he'll be driving me nuts while getting into everything.

Seth's personality is becoming more defined, too. He's generally a happier baby now. He smiles all the time and laughs a lot. This is especially true during mealtime and anytime he drinks water from my glass. However, he's also getting more stubborn and "voices" his opinion more. If you tell him no or tap his hand, he'll scream. He does not like to be limited at all. I'm definitely going to have some stand-offs with this boy!

Outside of Seth's changes not a lot has been happening. I've been enjoying my bi-monthly outings of garage-saleing with my aunt while Seth and Daddy play at home. We had game night last night, which is always fun. A few weeks ago we also went to Dollywood (minus Seth) with Michael's parents. His stepmom is fearless and wanted to ride all of the rollercoasters. I should have trusted my instincts and "just said no," but I gave in to the peer pressure and rode one. Let me tell you, it was HORRIBLE! I would rather do nearly anything than ride a rollercoaster again. I'll leave them to brave people who don't know what real fun is (Boardgames are equally safe and fun!).